Introvert Rant

There is a phenomenon taking over our society as we speak.  It is sometimes subtle, often overt – and it’s called Extrovert Domination or ED.  And I LOVE it.

ED says you must be in current contact with every person that you’ve ever spoken to, at any time in your life.  You must RELISH the thought of LinkedIn!!  As a matter of fact, you must own LinkedIn like a boss, because who doesn’t have time to reproduce their resume everywhere, in the most mediums as possible, and contact people that you once had a fleating connection with but no real ongoing relationship??  Awesome.  That’s not awkward at all, and I LOVE it!!  LOVE these ED rules….

In fact, bring on the get togethers, and let the small talk begin – and continue for hours!!  The more strangers the better.  Things in common?  Who needs that?  I love feigning interest in all ages, occupations and opinions, and can never get enough of that Buffalo sports talk!  I may have lost a piece of my soul with every surface encounter – but that’s ok!!  We are supposed to enjoy converation with strangers at any point.  It’s the way human beings are wired, and if you are someone that doesn’t enjoy this, well there’s something wrong with you and you just need TRAINING!  Who says so??  Well, it’s an extrovert rule!!!

And music?  That’s ok, I have no preference or desire to experience it in a social setting, just keep the conversation expectation going for – three, four, five hours!!  I will pull out every psychological trick I’ve ever learned to show witt, humor and substance, as I labor to engage with people who I have absolutely nothing in common with…..because extrovert domination says that NICE people are wired this way!!

This is fun!  Make sure you do nothing to earn the stigma of “quiet”.  In fact, keep those drinks coming, it doesn’t matter that you didn’t want to be hungover, dehydrated, or wreck your carefully planned diet/workout routine – alcohol is your last hope to pull this off!!  In fact, shots just might do the trick.  Why labor over filling, slow-acting beer when you can hit the ground running?!?  Your chemically altered perception will blanket the stilted conversation and mask all perception of time….gliding you skillfully through the last hours of your dutiful social participation.  You’ll pat yourself on the back as you go to your car, proud of how you pulled off another social event with panache, introvert that you are!!

The next morning you can pour your heart out on paper, or in a song, or in a solo run and reclaim every ounce of energy that the vampires extroverts syphoned from you.

Until the next invite…………..

3 thoughts on “Introvert Rant

  1. Oh yes – The social dilemma. Do I talk or do I unplug my computer and hide. Those of us living the life before the social media age enjoyed the same problem. Do we go out and pretend it’s fun or do we stay home and watch semi-porn cinemax?

    There will always be pressure but I think there is more pressure in today’s world than there was when I was a kid. Back than we only had a handful of friends, now they’re like ant colonies and we’ve met one of them.

    I would not want to be a kid in 2018. They are never living in the now. I’m not sure where they are living but it’s certainly not here.

    Welcome back, kid. Missed ya. 🙂

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    1. Thanks, well my annoyance at the demands of extroverts remains now in late adulthood and extends back through my youth for as far back as I can remember lol. They are also the majority! If you are an extrovert Bryan I will say that my next piece will be an olive branch to extroverts, and praise for their extrovert ways! lol. For real. But I just had to get out my frustration at all the forced socialization and the seeming lack of regard for us introverts! 🙂

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      1. If I had to be honest I’d say I’m pretty balanced. Although, the older I get the more comfortable I seem to spending my days with just a few instead of a whole like I did in my youth.

        Be picky who you choose to spend your days with. You will not regret it.

        Liked by 1 person

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