There is a phenomenon taking over our society as we speak. It is sometimes subtle, often overt – and it’s called Extrovert Domination or ED. And I LOVE it.
ED says you must be in current contact with every person that you’ve ever spoken to, at any time in your life. You must RELISH the thought of LinkedIn!! As a matter of fact, you must own LinkedIn like a boss, because who doesn’t have time to reproduce their resume everywhere, in the most mediums as possible, and contact people that you once had a fleating connection with but no real ongoing relationship?? Awesome. That’s not awkward at all, and I LOVE it!! LOVE these ED rules….
In fact, bring on the get togethers, and let the small talk begin – and continue for hours!! The more strangers the better. Things in common? Who needs that? I love feigning interest in all ages, occupations and opinions, and can never get enough of that Buffalo sports talk! I may have lost a piece of my soul with every surface encounter – but that’s ok!! We are supposed to enjoy converation with strangers at any point. It’s the way human beings are wired, and if you are someone that doesn’t enjoy this, well there’s something wrong with you and you just need TRAINING! Who says so?? Well, it’s an extrovert rule!!!
And music? That’s ok, I have no preference or desire to experience it in a social setting, just keep the conversation expectation going for – three, four, five hours!! I will pull out every psychological trick I’ve ever learned to show witt, humor and substance, as I labor to engage with people who I have absolutely nothing in common with…..because extrovert domination says that NICE people are wired this way!!
This is fun! Make sure you do nothing to earn the stigma of “quiet”. In fact, keep those drinks coming, it doesn’t matter that you didn’t want to be hungover, dehydrated, or wreck your carefully planned diet/workout routine – alcohol is your last hope to pull this off!! In fact, shots just might do the trick. Why labor over filling, slow-acting beer when you can hit the ground running?!? Your chemically altered perception will blanket the stilted conversation and mask all perception of time….gliding you skillfully through the last hours of your dutiful social participation. You’ll pat yourself on the back as you go to your car, proud of how you pulled off another social event with panache, introvert that you are!!
The next morning you can pour your heart out on paper, or in a song, or in a solo run and reclaim every ounce of energy that the
vampires extroverts syphoned from you.
Until the next invite…………..